To reminisce, to appreciate what was, of things that were because some of those will always have been misconceived and thus deserve retrospect.

So the reality is that not everything will work out the way I hoped they’d be. And the person I like so much, can only be, at most, but a good friend. But it still works, at least it still does. For more over two years, I’ve felt the same as I’ve always had and cherish the moments as they came. But I write this not because it has already ended, no it has not, but because I’ve seen it as I’ve panned how 2012 will be.

And so maybe I will lose you for good or whatnot – only time will tell. The cliché, it’s even worse than what I saw unfold. The common tale of the one that got away.

But even though that I’ve never told you how I feel, in due time I will.

05:30AM Wakeup call. I slept like a baby throughout but still felt my 8 hours of sleep was insufficient. Warm sun rays greeted us through the cold morning mist foretelling good weather and sunny skies. Canlaon City loomed below, reminding us that we were still at the foothold of Mount Kanlaon. We broke camp after preparing breakfast and packed lunch. Breakfast consisted of champorado, dried fish and arrozcaldo while we whooped up macaroni for lunch. Our breakfast recipe was a mistake, I think.

07:30AM Ascent proper. Jorj, who was dehydrated and feeling  ill since yesterday evening vomited on our first ascent. Even without a pack, she had difficulty climbing, and we weren’t even within the forest yet where felled logs and vertical ascents were commonplace. She couldn’t climb with us and risk her health. We stalled for an hour, assessing the situation. It was decided eventually that one of our guides would accompany Jorj back to Canlaon City where she was to stay with a friend. I felt bad for her but this was the best choice for everyone.

08:30AM With Jorg on her way back to Canlaon City, we started assault proper and took breaks within an interval of an hour. During my training climbs, there was always an instance where I would ask myself why I was doing these climbs. That never happened in Kanlaon. Even when tired, I managed my breathing when I could to restore vigor. Roughly an hour after we started our assault, I was starved and had difficulty keeping up with my ever getting heavier pack. This I attribute to, what I feel was, our inappropriate breakfast meal. Out of dried mangos, I recoursed to my energy gel, 120 calories of sweet honey.

01:30AM After about 3 or 4 15 minute stops, we reached Camp One (supposedly if we followed our IT), Makawiwili Peak. All I could utter was a wholehearted WOW. Margaha Valley was a sight to behold, which took the whole expanse of the ground from where we stood. Further beyond beckoned proud Mount Kanlaon whom we would now and then lose sight with the parade of clouds blowing from different directions. From the slopes of Margaha Valley, the ridges, Camp 2 was a comforting sight though still two hours and a half away. Finally I was beyond admiring Mount Kanlaon through pictures. I must have heaved a deep sigh of triumph and bore a bundle of smiles. Truly, the beauty of a mountain can only be appreciated by those who are willing to sacrifice, to climb her. Such even is the way of life. After gaiety photo shoots, I silently gave prayer and thanked God for the blessing. We were now en route to the saddle, for Camp 2.

02:00PM After the prevailing ascents, we were treated to a downhill treat which was an overture to Day 3. The trek dragged on for 2 hours. For some reason, I was fatigued and couldn’t keep up with my pacing with Shiela who was ahead of me. For one, I was out of trail food and with sparse water left.

04:00PM We finally reached the saddle. I was in the last group of NJ, Rain, Voltaire. I didn’t mind. Camp 2 was a welcoming sight of wide expanse of even camp ground with an awing view of the Negros Mainland. Above us was the crater whom everyone else was already summiting with a headtime of around 20-25 minutes. Not bad for a last group. Jake prodded us to summit immediately. A clear weather as ours was truly a blessing for a November climb. We unloaded our packs, left our water containers and started to assault which took us around ~30 minutes. Mid-summit, behind us was Camp 2 and further behind the Negros Mainland. It truly was a blessing. Summiting took us through loose rocks almost devoid of foliage. I couldn’t help but imagine how it was when the Volcano last erupted. Where the lava flowed downstream and if the rocks I was fending off came from the crater itself. None of which however were distinguishable by me, instead, I was dismayed by vandals left by irresponsible mountaineers.

04:30PM Reaching the summit, I hefted yet another sigh of both relief and fulfillment. We summited Mount Kanlaon on clear weather devoid of the gory climb ills experienced by other mountaineers. I was blessed, we were blessed. I didn’t take a peek through the crater, I felt it was unnecessary. Now I feel bad I didn’t. I will climb Kanlaon again. I will do so because next time, I will bring my camera and take a peek through the crater. And if it’s not asking for too much, she will be with me.

After the photo shoots which seemed endless with the clatter of childlike joys, we started descending. It was getting cold and the sun was bidding us an early goodnight.

05:00PM Back in Camp 2, we started pitching our tents and preparing for dinner. While the initial plan was that I was to share tents with Lyndz and Shiela, I asked permission to use my tent on the condition that I would transfer the moment it got too cold. I didn’t want to have dragged my Speedup throughout the 8 hour trek and to not use it. Dinner consisted of corned beef and soup which filled both my void stomach and hungry spirit.

10:00PM Lights out, at least for me. I was dead tired and even with the inviting comfort of alcohol, I only managed a few rounds then dozed off.

12:00AM Awakened by constant flapping of my tent which sounded like a motor engine. I carefully checked if it was raining as I didn’t want to wet myself and risk being chilled. So far, I slept too well. Fixing the pegs of my tent, I shared small talks with Rain over a cigarette who was also up to take a pee. It was nearly 10 degrees cold probably with wind factor, 7 degrees. These however are mere presumptions as I never had a thermometer but typically, the temperature drops down around midnight. My gloves were a lifesaver. I wore them even while sleeping for comfort.

I didn’t expect the climb as it turned out. The best season for climbing usually ranges within the first 2 quarters of the year, after which the rainy season takes over. A November climb was taking a risk in all aspects. But the event was hard to pass on and I was hungry for my first major climb. Early on I mentally prepared myself that this was nothing less than a gruelling test of my capacity within an unforgiving mountain. Most of my training climbs ranged within 5-6 hours total of trek time. Our itinerary listed 8 hours considering good weather. A base camp in Mount Kanlaon was enough for me should it rain.

Day 1

12:00AM I was supposed to leave from work early but our meeting dragged on until midnight. Regrettably I had barely 2 hours of sleep as most of the day was spent finalizing my gear and last buys. Best decision of the day was to pack early on.

02:00AM South Bus Terminal. We had a few rounds of beer while waiting for them latecomers. I didn’t mind at all. Between the casual talks and rounds of beer, I tried hard to manage some rest.

03:30AM Departure from South Bus Terminal bound for Toledo City. I was sweating with my cotton shirt and wished I was on my dri-fits. The bus was packed with no stretch room for my legs and headrest. Tough. While I’m not one who’s usually late on boarding vans, buses and ships -  experience has taught me to be prompt as  it’s either everything or nothing, I bought some food along the way and paid the price. Not the best bus ride ever.

05:30AM Arrival at Toledo Terminal. Thankfully this wasn’t a prelude of how things were for the entire climb. My pack fell hard from the motorcycle and I watched from afar as it skidded through the rough pavement. My rain cover took a tear in the lower side which got worse throughout the entire climb. Thankfully, nothing else was damaged.

06:50AM Departure for San Carlos City. I managed some good rest thanks to the air conditioning and run-down comfortable seats.

We arrived at San Carlos City about 2 hours (or was it an hour?) afterwards. Had quick breakfast and last-minute buys since Rain and I were in-charge of dinner for later. Added load on my pack were the uncooked rice and pork.

On our way to the terminal, bound for San Carlos City, we made another stop at Gaisano San Carlos. I rushed to buy some arm warmers and knee support. Yet another good decision come day 3.

From the Terminal, we chartered a jeepney bound for Maput, our jump-off point. Approximately around 2 hours of travel time. Realizing that we were getting nearer, I dozed as much as I could, ignoring the scenery. I thought of nothing else but to get some rest.

11:00AM Start of the trek and was wearisome. The heat and the open trail was energy draining save for the cold weather and shaded stops. As I’ve noticed from my training treks, it takes me around 45 minutes to an hour for my body to warm up thus the straight up ascent was tedious.

We decided to camp at the 2nd to the last water-source before Makawiwili peak, which was still roughly 5 hours away. This was at around 1:30 in the afternoon as some mountaineers has already gone ahead of us. This meant no sufficient camp ground for everyone. We spent the rest of the afternoon and evening with socials. I didn’t mind as I needed to test drive my Luxe Speedup with 2 persons. With good weather, we could setup everything without a problem save that we would have no inner mesh. Rain didn’t bring the ground sheet so we had Lyndi’s rain cover which is convertible, as our groundsheet. We added our earth pad and sleeping bag as ground layering. Good sleep was key.

09:00PM Lights out for everyone. Tomorrow was a big day.

Alot of things have happened since then – in RL of course.  School has been great, it pays to do something you like, learn from it. Live it and hopefully, be it. Education may be expensive as they say, but you certainly don’t want to try ignorance. Everything of course hasn’t been a walk at the park. We’ve had to dabble and research at least 30 cases per week. Read through the lengthy spirit of the law like we actually had enough time for ourselves. Doing those in between work and sleep is the most challenging part. Finding time for it. I believe things do come easy for some people. If I was at home, then I wouldn’t have to go through the menial daily chores which, do those actually define our lives?

But I’ve had the same as an outlet, believe it. When you live alone, some days can get boring. I remember being happy to be out and get some groceries.

So school, back to it. It will take a while. The executive class is a 5 year module – tops. So when we factor in failed subjects (reminds me that I’m currently a probationary student) and the same, then that can take around 6-8 years. I’d be 30 something by then. But I’m not complaining as it seems that I’m still in track in this race of a life.

How do you define life? I define as making the best out of it, making the best of yourself. Mediocrity is a sin! Another point I consider is to be able to help others. Those two are my main locus standi in the spirit of living.

I knew this would be lengthy, I’ll get back to you with another, soon. Hopefully.

We had giveaways and I still have a copy of the drafts stuck around here and there. Below is one which I am posting for posterity purposes. fleeting!

This elections was my first time to vote and never have I felt as hopeless for our plight. Constantly we gnarl and mumble on how hard it is to live within these times. And as it seems, we are set for the same within the next 6 years.

I see myself as one as an optimist, I am one because I am powerful with myself. I have the capacity to change my life. But I cannot undo what the majority of us has. A wrong decision induced by mindless, baseless, the false sense of belief and deliverance by one man. A man who took it unto him that the belief of many will be all that it takes to empower change. It takes a lot more than that clearly. Leaders take action, they entice, they bring hope, they deliver.

I am a Filipino and I write as one. I am with the rest of us and nor I am not bitter. I welcome Noynoy as our new President and I am willing to work with him in my own small ways. This is not a change of heart as how I put it down with the first two paragraphs. Instead I write it as it is, that,

For truth is our reality. That which is false is unreal. The more clearly we see the reality with our country, the better equipped we are. The more our minds are befuddled  by falsehood, misperceptions and illusions – the less able we will be to determine correct courses of action and make wise decisions.

Noynoy was never a man of action. Nor was he a man who finished things. And so shall it be.

Thank you…

Why did you ever stop believing in me?
I have never done so with you.
You may have never thought about it, but I do.
I still do care, not the way as it was,
But I do.

Remember when I tell you your good at this and that.
When you deserve that for yourself.
I see through you and the best that you can be.
And it has always been like that.

Love blossoms caterpillars,
that’s the way it should be.
Why do I feel that I have failed you M?
Why do you hide the butterfly from me?

What I really do like is how she takes the words from her mind, soul and heart, tears and joy whatever, then animates them to life in her writing. Set in dull plain white background, it is similar to watching the clouds move about on a fine blue sky day. You listen to yourself breathe then you understand. Altogether.

it problema la if wala gyud kay friends. :p